Pebbles, stones and rocks are commonplace in most
parts of the world. There are
few people who don’t know what it is like to walk with
a pebble in a shoe. Thankfully, stones and rocks are less likely to bother most
of our footwear! That
said, the fact remains that most people have burdens
of varying degrees to carry on life’s journey. Whether it be similar to a
pebble in a shoe or something more burdensome, it always helps to talk.
Pastoral counseling is a therapeutic encounter with a
qualified therapist or counselor who also has formal training and certification
in theology and spirituality. When we think about our life story we can see
that we have habits and patterns of behaviour which make us who we are. We are
all made up of physical, cognitive, intuitive, emotional, biological and sexual
characteristics. It is how these relate to each other which determines how
healthy or unhealthy we are in ourselves. How we are in and with ourselves will
determine how we are with each other and in our daily relationships in our
work place and community.
Underlying our individual characteristics is our
spirituality. Spirituality is that which helps us make sense of our human
experience in the world around us. As Christians our lives are graced by the
God of Jesus Christ who came into the world so that we all may have life and
have it to the full (Jn 10:10). As Christians we know that spirituality is at
the core of being human. Spirituality is the deepest part of our being. It is
often the shyest part as well. However shy it may be, when authentically
recognized it serves to balance and inform positive interaction between our
feelings, thoughts, words and deeds. When we are in touch with our deepest
selves we are most conscious of who we are and what we are capable of becoming.
We are also better able to meet and confront the experiences, events, traumas
and assumptions or beliefs which prevent us from becoming all that God dreams
for us to become. When we experience loss, whether it be the death of a family
member, a relationship breakup, leaving one’s country of origin, loosing one’s
job, retiring or some other phase of life issue, it can be very painful and
disorientating. Counselling is a means of helping to gain perspective and
wellbeing with such turbulent life experiences. Similarly addictive behavior
patterns, be it food, alcohol, gambling or other such compulsions can result in
ruptured relationships, depression and internal conflict. It is often through
our relationships that we realize that the deepest part of one’s being has not
been recognized, respected and cared for.
Pastoral counseling helps achieve healthy life functioning first of all
by healing how we are with ourselves. To be able to love our neighbour we must
first love ourselves and to love ourselves we must care for all those parts
which make us uniquely who we are. Caring for ourselves reflects on how we are
in our relationships, and how we relate and contribute to our communities and
the wider world.
Pastoral Counseling is an agreement between the
counselor and person
to meet once weekly for fifty minutes usually over a
period of six to eight weeks but this may can be for longer a timeframe
depending on the issues and needs of each person.
That pebble in the shoe can sometimes easily be
removed while at other times we may need someone to walk with us awhile.
September 2014
